[WoodsRider]

I guess there's a first for everything. At the NETRA Noble Woods Enduro (Burwick, ME) I sustained a very unusual injury. While coming around a corner, a rider in front of me was stuck on a log. To get around him I hit the log at an angle. Not a very smart move as I ended up going over the bars... sort of.

Everything happened so fast that I'm not really sure how the crash initiated. One end of the handlebar was sticking up in the air and I was coming down on top of it. This is when things started moving in slow motion. Luckily I missed the important part(s), but ended up landing where the prostate is located. I must've let out some sort of moaning shreik as the stuck rider came asked if I was okay. Not really sure if I was still a man, I got my foot unstuck from underneath my bike and looked down. I had ripped the fly open on my riding pants and couldn't get the zipper unstuck. I pulled off my tool belt and reached down to take inventory and make sure I wasn't bleeding profusely. Everything was where it's supposed to be and there was no blood, so I continued on and finished the event.

Afterwards I called the doctor. I was concerned about damage to my prostate. The doc on call stated that as long as there was no blood in my urine, everything should be fine. The best thing to do would be to ice it down. Yeah right, that's exactly the area I want to put an ice pack. Four days later there's been no blood in my urine, but a huge and colorful hematoma has appeared right above my manhood. My johnson looks like the dark spectrum of a rainbow. The only time it hurts is when I bend over. However the pain isn't excruciating, like the time I took a baseball in the twins. This is probably the worst bruise I have ever suffered.