This might sound retarded, but put the bike on the stand and climb aboard.
Get yourself into position where you can be on the pegs in a neutral position without leaning on your arms. This will take the variables of forces and motion out of the equation and give you an idea of how you need to be in your neutral possie. From there you need to adjust to compensate for the actions of the bike.
Don't be so hard on yourself either. It's early days and it will all feel unnatural, sketchy, and likely a little scary. While you still consciously have to think about what you are doing and what you have to do, you will know you are still deep in the learning curve... think about the first time you do anything and how much attention and concentration it takes and still not being sure if you're doing it right. It often feels awkward even if you're doing well.
Riding a dirt bike isn't a simple task. It's a complex balance of many individual tasks being put together in delicate balances with perfect timing. Reading the terrain, looking ahead, selecting lines, compensating and correcting for mistakes, finding traction in various terrain, applying the right amount of throttle and clutch at the right times, balancing, feeling the brakes and understanding how and where you can slow the bike, gear selection, etc etc etc.
Then you have the physical aspect on top and managing to continue to do all the above as muscle fatigue sets in. There is a lot going on!
Add to that, that when you're new you are compensating for all the mistakes listed above generally with physical/brute strength. You fight more! You drop the bike more, you expend more energy just doing the simple things, and it all adds up and typically compounds on itself. I've seen some old fat blokes haul on a bike, and some of the fittest people break under a day in the bush. There is a lot to be said for 'ride fitness' and it's really less to do with being 'fit' than it is to do with 'good technique'.
Good technique comes with seat time, practice, more of each, and so on. For some it comes naturally, for many it takes more time. One thing you have on your side is that you have the opportunity to learn good technique right off the bat!
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